12.18: news.med/cancer/depression/Psilocybin/the oracle:
. a brain cancer patient who would later die from it
did Psilocybin and it was like an oracle
(here is what is in store for you):
it gave her a very bad experience
but also the message that while life looks bad,
a big part of it is how you look at it:
don't ruin the precious here & now
worrying about the hopelessness of the future.
Kerry in a Johns Hopkins Psilocybin study:
"Very quickly … she was overcome with a feeling of
'total, absolute, undeniable despair in the worst way.
It almost makes me cry thinking about it.'
The scene in her mind … was of 'massive boulders of
very bland, earthy colors. Huge, massive rocks
with very muscular men with pickaxes,
just chipping away at these boulders.
In my mind's eye, it was, like,
'This is what it really is: This is life.
There's nothing to it. It has no meaning.'
It went on and on and on' … I cannot tell you
I wouldn't have jumped out of a window
because of the despair.
'They're chipping away, chipping away.
And there's — it was a jewel.
A single jewel sparkling amongst all this despair …
And I realized that's what I represent
and loud and clear … were the words,
'Right here, right now. Right here, right now.'
It was totally audible. It was a voice …
And it was like, 'You need to listen to this.
Identify with the beautiful stone.'
It was joyful … And it has changed my life.'
Since her session, Pappas said her cancer has reappeared twice,
in her brain, but she remains mostly unfazed.
'Right here, right now' is integrated in my being.
It's not just words. And just my joy to live is new, for me.
I hold no delusions that this isn't going to get me in the end,
because statistically it will.
But I can live with that … Fully. It is amazing.'"